Last decision

In this job changes happen fast and often without warning, we try to keep ourselves prepared and updated by continuous drilling onboard and education by means of attending courses and seminars when on leave.
I attended such a course 4 weeks ago, Radar and ECDIS(electronic chart display information system) were on the menu. The immediate thoughts I had were “How long is it, where is it and who is going to be there?” Answer, 2 days, Copenhagen and 7 shipmates of various ages, ranks and acquaintance, 3 of whom first time acquaintances.
On the first day of the course, we met for breakfast, got acquainted reacquainted and chatted about the usual crap, we got a taxi to the course simulator building where they had a bridge simulator. We got mildly bored for the day,  I had to concentrate to understand the Danish guy running the course, me being the only non-Scandinavian, the Swedes all looked like they were taking it all in. Picked up a few bits of information during the day, but was more interested in what was happening after the course.
Beer was the first order of priority, myself and 2 other guys went into town for a few jars before the evening meal. One of the lads I had sailed with previously the other was on the sister ship and we had just met that morning. We sat in the sun and enjoyed the cold beer, the boys admitted that they hadn’t a clue what the Dane was saying either, we laughed at how ridiculous the scenario was. We didn’t have any deep discussions about the meaning of life or philosophical debate about our existence, we just drank our cold beer, enjoyed the sun and watched the world go by. We talked about daily events that happened to us on our ships and about what skippers were arseholes, about the ones that were good too and Who had witnessed what fuckups onboard and other salty stories. We observed the pretty city girls go by in their summer clothes and then talked more.
After a few beers we had to rush back to the hotel for our evening meal, we shared a communal piss against a sheltered shrubbery along the way and laughed at ourselves out loud to the dismay of the passers by.
The evening meal was pleasant and the course concluded the next day. We went our seperate ways and thought nothing more about it.
News reached me the other day that made me sad and slightly shocked, the first time acquaintance I had been drinking beer with in the sun in Copenhagen had committed suicide. A week after the course and for reasons unknown to me he stood up on a bridge parapet and took a jump to his death.
Thinking back I wonder how long he had come in his thought process on that day in Copenhagen or was it something that had just happened that led him to his last action. Maybe we should have spoken more about life and philosophy when we supped our beer instead of the usual banal bullshit, maybe it was already too late.

Its too late now anyway.

He has passed on, rest in peace shipmate.