Another classic today on the VHF when the French VTS operator was getting information from a passing tanker. There is a serious amount of reporting on the French coast after all the tanker accidents and oil spills over the years.
You have to imagine a heavy French accent and a heavy East European accent replying
French VTS- What kind of vessel are you?
Tanker- We are oil tanker.
French VTS- What kind of ‘ull ‘ave you? (silent h in front of ave and ull)
Tanker- ‘ull ‘ave?
French VTS – yes ‘ull, what kind of ‘ull ave you?
Tanker- please repeat question, not understanding?
French VTS- You are a tanker, what of ‘ULL ave you, a single ‘ULL, a double ‘ULL ?
Tanker- no we have no HOLE in ship, everything OK, no HOLE
French VTS-(exasperated) you have no ‘ULL? You have single or double bottom?
Tanker( penny finally drops) ah we are double HULL vessel…….
Frsnch VTS (audible relief in voice) OK sir sank you, ‘ow many crew onboard?(silent h in front of ow)
Tanker(confused again) ‘OW?
and so on and so on, maybe we should all learn French…..
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