French archive at Tims Times

Archive for the 'French' Category

New carriers, old enemies.

Published May 20, 2008 in naval heroes, Warships, Americans, English, French, Grey Funnel, Admirals and pinch of salt required. 1 Comment

Carrier

Or you play with a toy one?

According to leaks and reports here and there, the French and British Admiralties are in discussion about the possibility of sharing an aircraft carrier, more like the impossibility, French and British crew together on the same warship? It could be propelled by Nelsons revolving coffin , his own quote“You must hate a Frenchman as you do the devil”
However it certainly is an example of thinking outside the box, even if they appear to be completely out of their boxes, a few too many glasses of sherry perhaps? You could go further and forget about this sharing business altogether and build the carriers in China, everyone else is building their ships there why not warships too? Then they can have 2 or 3 for the price of one, they could even crew them from China too, just disband( or downsize) the military apparatus in Europe and outsource it.

Another alternative would be to buy a few from the cash strapped Yanks, it wouldn’t be too far away from buying from China seeing as how much China is owed from the US, but anyway the dollar at it’s current weak state must make an offer from the Brits of the Frogs for a few ships feasible, unless someone starts shouting about Freedom Fries again.

Or a completely different tack would be to think environment (and not build any at all !) and think recycling, and get out the spy satellite pictures of the ports around Murmansk or Google Earth there are a few disused ships lying around idle waiting for better weather that could be had for a gas pipeline deal or other, I’m sure they could be persuaded to help their old friends France and Britain.

At the end of the day when 2 old enemies start talking about sharing military equipment anything can happen.

Helicopters

Published December 25, 2007 in English, Helicopter, Youtube, French, UK, France, VHF and From the ship. 5 Comments

We were leaving port the other day, or evening as the small video clips will show when we had a visit from a very loud and bright flying object, they started flashing searchlights across the deck and it was all very noisy. I went to the port bridge window and there was a big Helicopter of type unidentifiable about 10 metres from me the co-pilot had a number board with “69″ on it and he was gesticulating vigorously with a flashlight at the number, the penny finally dropped inside my head and I lifted the VHF tuned to channel 69 (nothing to do with any other purported uses of this cipher combination), as I tuned in an extremely efficient British voice crackled across the airwaves, “Coastguard helicopter Whiskey Delta, on exercise, permission to place a man on deck, OVER” I gave the OK “Whiskey Delta, permission granted” thinking to myself these are the boys that could make the difference on a dark and dirty night in the North Sea, so practice away lads.
My cameraman missed the first part of the operation we were all fairly awestruck at the proximity, noise and presence of such a big machine flying a few feet overhead. There are four small sequences showing the winchman exercise with a stretcher basket and finally fly off into the murk.

The last clip is a few seconds of the Dunkirk pilot making his entrance, there was too much wind for a launch so he had to arrive by chopper. I took a photo as they flew past the bridge and blogged previously under Flying Pilots

Flying Pilots

Published December 11, 2007 in Pilot, Helicopter, French, Pilotage and France. 0 Comments

The helicopter with the Dunkerque pilot swishes past the bridge at about 30 metres distance. Impressive machines these choppers.

VHF humour

Published October 18, 2007 in French, Tankers, VHF and On the ship. 0 Comments

Another classic today on the VHF when the French VTS operator was getting information from a passing tanker. There is a serious amount of reporting on the French coast after all the tanker accidents and oil spills over the years.

You have to imagine a heavy French accent and a heavy East European accent replying

French VTS- What kind of vessel are you?

Tanker- We are oil tanker.

French VTS- What kind of ‘ull ‘ave you? (silent h in front of ave and ull)

Tanker- ‘ull ‘ave?

French VTS - yes ‘ull, what kind of ‘ull ave you?

Tanker- please repeat question, not understanding?

French VTS- You are a tanker, what of ‘ULL ave you, a single ‘ULL, a double ‘ULL ?

Tanker- no we have no HOLE in ship, everything OK, no HOLE

French VTS-(exasperated) you have no ‘ULL? You have single or double bottom?

Tanker( penny finally drops) ah we are double HULL vessel…….

Frsnch VTS (audible relief in voice) OK sir sank you, ‘ow many crew onboard?(silent h in front of ow)

Tanker(confused again) ‘OW?

and so on and so on, maybe we should all learn French…..

Dunkirk sea pilot.

Published October 16, 2007 in Pilot, cigarettes, Helicopter, French, France, Pilotage and On the ship. 2 Comments

The sea pilot arrived by helicopter yesterday, nothing too strange there. When he arrived on the bridge he wanted to smoke directly which is not allowed so he was in a bit of a humour. When we were going into the locks at Dunkerque he was behind me as I was at the controls, he didn’t say anything except made a sort of a noise like tut tutting when he felt we were wandering off track, then he didn’t have to say anything because I knew something was wrong and fixed it by applying more helm or thrust. Once in the locks and secure he dashed down to the smoke room for a couple of Gitanes, when he came back the humour was better…..I suggested a nicotene patch for the long pilotages where smoking is not allowed……he produced a box of pills from his pocket and said “I ‘ave been chewing thees nicotine sweets all evening!¨

The demon nicotine!

Any aircraft experts out there (Devin) know what kind of helicopter it is?

In Donges on the day the French lose.

Published October 14, 2007 in French, France and On the ship. 0 Comments

I took a little cycle tour away from the ship today, to Donges near Nantes in France. It was 20 degrees C and the sun was melting me, being clad for Swedish winter weather. Good to get some air other than ship air, I would say fresh air but the refinery in the nearby gave the air a tang of metal and oil.

The slightly dilapidated Hotel de la Gare is probably not a fair representation of the little town but it gave a bit of poetic feeling of times past. It was fairly sleepy today apart from a gang of youngsters on mopeds trying to look hard, they eyed me up suspiciously as I went around on my bike. The customers in the local supermarché gave me plenty of eyeball also when I went in to do some purchasing, I don’t know what it was that made me stand out but I guess it is a small town. In the queue for the till in front of me was a beret wearing old man, he turned around and looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders only the way a French old man can do, and apologised for having so much stuff, I said “pas de problem” and his bushy eyebrows lifted up a few notches and he asked me “quelle nationalité?”(what nationality?) it was probably the question half the shop wanted to ask but he was an old guy so he didn’t care. I said Irish and this pleased him no end, he went on to inquire how I got to Donges (bateau?) and who I thought would win in the rugby game between France and England. I said France, it being my preference and he shrugged his shoulders again, he had a feeling England would do it and they did. I should have asked him if it was ok to photograph him, he was a pure stereotype, a wicker shopping basket with champagne, cheese, baguette and other delicacies and the beret all he was missing was the striped sweater and a string of onions.

The loading master and surveyor were in mourning after the defeat to England in the rugby, a sad day for France they said, a tragedy, a catastrophe, I gave my condolences saying that they probably won’t win the final, but knowing England anything is possible.

A roadsign outside the huge refinery at Donges, looking slightly worse for wear… I wonder could it be acid rain?

Language Dilemma

Published May 11, 2007 in French, Language and On the ship. 2 Comments

They say that knowledge is power, whoever they are. To be in possession of a piece of information that others may not know you have can be interesting, but may put you in a dilemma also. What to do with the knowledge. I’ll try to give an example of what I’m on about.

The shipping business is multinational and with that comes a load of different languages, the assumption is that everyone speaks English and this is fairly true but not entirely, on normal weekdays during normal office hours you get good service in English, after that in France, Germany, Russia (the list goes on but we can start it there) your chances of getting good English go down from about 85% to 10% depending on how late it is and how close to closing time on Saturday night. Thats just the way it is.
Now if I was in France for example and your man on the jetty is giving plenty of shoulder shrugs and Quoi? and Je ne c’est pas do you break out the school French ? NO, bad idea, don’t do it, if he thinks you understand French then he is never going to speak a word of his less than perfect English to you again, be prepared for a barrage of French and you will be mystified at the end.
On one occasion in France when I was a first trip third mate I overheard and made out from the surveyor and the agent in their conversation that they were casting doubts on the marital relations of the old mans parents on the date of his birth, this was interesting, how far do I let them go before I ask them something in French with a glint in my eye. I chucked out a trÃ©s drole and gave a laugh, the blood left their faces, until I told them il ne comprend la francais ( he doesn’t understand French) , they chuckled nervously, not knowing what to say or think, the old man who was a half Yorkshire, half Danish person was a complete bastard (but that’s another story. )
The old man who at this stage had noticed there was something going on said in a loud voice “wot are them French bastads sayinÂ´ bout me?”
My turn to go pale. He might have looked stupid but I was the one feeling like an eejit. Should have kept my trap closed.