Archive for the 'paranoia' Category

On yer bike

Bike

Is it about a bicycle?

We arrived at our jetty, or should I say, I manouvred the ship to the jetty with the very helpful advice of the apprentice pilot. I listened to him, but it’s my ass if the ship hits the jetty. I don’t fancy the paperwork. A headache of titanic proportions….

Ship’s these days cost a LOT of money MILLIONS of dollars, and we carry DANGEROUS cargoes, petrol and chemicals themselves worth MILLIONS of dollars, so you want a crew with COMPETENCY and RELIABILITY to manage your ship. A crew who wouldn’t RISK anything for the SAFETY of the ship? After all we all want to get home at the end of the day.

So we are at the jetty of this BIG oil company about to handle oil cargo for about 24 hours, perfect chance for me to get the old Rothar out and go for a spin into town for an hour or two, when the Loading Master hands me a document saying that no crew are allowed on the jetty and no crew can walk or cycle in the refinery area. In the meantime half the employees and contractors are cycling by on the way to the main gate 1 kilometre away, Friday evening and time for the weekend, its like the Tour de France with hard hats out there.

I look in complete disbelief at the document and say so I can’t cycle to the main gate? NO

But everyone else is cycling to the main gate? Yes but we work here. (and I am working here too?)

OK, so how do I get me and my bike to the main gate? You have to order a taxi from your shipping agent.

OK, I have to order a taxi to get me and my bike 1 km to the gate? Yes, listen I don’t make the rules, I’m only following orders…

Thats what the NAZI’s said…. (I didn’t say that only in my thoughts)

But it’s a pretty stupid rule though you’d have to agree? Yeah the world has gone mad since 911

So I rang the agent. Listen, I said how do I get to the main gate here if I want to get out for a cycle? Oh the loading master will help you. He says I have to get a taxi….Do you want a taxi? I can get you one but it will cost you….No listen, I don’t want a taxi, I have a bicycle which I would like to take for a spin, but I can’t get to the main gate what will I do?….Oh, the loading master will hel…CLICK I put the phone down.

So it is OK for me to manouvre a 20,000 ton ship worth millions to the jetty, but not OK for me to cycle my bike 1km to the gate. I’m a security risk once the ship has stopped moving? The security rules are a complete farce these days, punishing the ordinary sailors for something they have nothing to do with, namely 911. It has been a windfall for the fence manufacturers and installers, it has been a goldmine for the security industry. There are tattooed skinhead fuckwits with no formal education everywhere with uniforms and radios controlling gates and checking ID’s, they haven’t a clue about what a ship is. This is security don’t make me laugh, I know who is laughing the real terrorists. Meanwhile in the container port, boxloads of guns, explosives,drugs and God knows what are being moved around and nobody has a clue, but for the love of Christ don’t allow that bicycle out.

I could understand if they wanted to increase security in the US, OK they got attacked it is understandable. But it’s everywhere, paranoia rules. Fortunately some ports have a better attitude to ship’s crews, and don’t treat us like criminals. One of the small pleasures of the job at sea is getting an hour or so ashore, to see something interesting in another land. But if you can’t get a bicycle off the ship because you are considered a security risk, well then it isn’t worth the hassle. Stay in your floating prison. It’s no wonder they can’t get anyone to do this job anymore, but soon the problem will go away. There will be no more Europeans or Americans working in these ports or on ships and no one to complain about the shit conditions people have to put up with.

Looks like rain today, I think I’ll stay onboard.

Paranoia

Subtitle; Just because you’re not paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not all out to get you

It was another lovely day at sea today, sunshine and the stillness of the Baltic, I had a few jobs on deck so I was going about my business by myself. Big ship small crew. A lot of jobs you try to keep in twos or threes but today I was on my sweeney todd. I had one job in the forecastle space setting up a routine on the Nitrogen generator, which meant running compressors. It had been a while since I did the job last so I was a bit slow setting it up and I had to go in and out of the space a few times to check my line up and I discovered that the pneumatic couplings were disconnected on 3 valves, which was a bit odd. I was getting a bit suspicious and started putting 2 & 2 together, thinking about what had been said and who glanced at who in what way, and why was I doing this job? I figured that it must have been some kind of practical joke so I reconnected and kept going.
I went back into the forecastle, which has a big steel door, with eight dogs, for the land lubbers a dog doesn’t go woof woof on a ship, it is a securing device for a door or hatch, can be wood or steel, on this particular door they were all connected to a big lever which you lifted up and then you had to drag the door open and step inside an airlock, close the outer door and then open the inner door and you’re in.
I was working away on the compressor, when I heard a clicking sound, didn’t think too much about it. I started up the compressor and was on my way out, but I couldn’t open the door, I had the handle up and the dogs were free, but it wouldn’t open, I remembered the clicking sound and thought “the bastards, have locked me in” I decided to head for the escape route quick style and show them, but it wouldn’t open either…..paranoia hits, I walked quickly back to the main door still not moving, I was in no real danger but the primitive part of the brain starts working so I gave the door a shoulder, which I nearly dislocated, then I started kicking, getting a bit worried at this stage when one of my kicks produces a split second of daylight from and shuts tight again……then it dawns on me, compressor needs air, I haven’t opened the air inlet so it is creating a massive vacuum. I shut down the compressor and the door opened without a hitch. I felt a bit stupid, thinking all kinds of conspiracy theories about my shipmates, when there wasn’t a soul about.
Needless to say I didn’t tell my colleagues about the episode, for fear of ridicule, but the blogosphere can have it. It’s real life Jim.

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