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On yer bike

Published November 1, 2008 in the bleedin' obvious, going ashore, paranoia, Security, Netherlands and From the ship. 6 Comments

Is it about a bicycle?

We arrived at our jetty, or should I say, I manouvred the ship to the jetty with the very helpful advice of the apprentice pilot. I listened to him, but it’s my ass if the ship hits the jetty. I don’t fancy the paperwork. A headache of titanic proportions….

Ship’s these days cost a LOT of money MILLIONS of dollars, and we carry DANGEROUS cargoes, petrol and chemicals themselves worth MILLIONS of dollars, so you want a crew with COMPETENCY and RELIABILITY to manage your ship. A crew who wouldn’t RISK anything for the SAFETY of the ship? After all we all want to get home at the end of the day.

So we are at the jetty of this BIG oil company about to handle oil cargo for about 24 hours, perfect chance for me to get the old Rothar out and go for a spin into town for an hour or two, when the Loading Master hands me a document saying that no crew are allowed on the jetty and no crew can walk or cycle in the refinery area. In the meantime half the employees and contractors are cycling by on the way to the main gate 1 kilometre away, Friday evening and time for the weekend, its like the Tour de France with hard hats out there.

I look in complete disbelief at the document and say so I can’t cycle to the main gate? NO

But everyone else is cycling to the main gate? Yes but we work here. (and I am working here too?)

OK, so how do I get me and my bike to the main gate? You have to order a taxi from your shipping agent.

OK, I have to order a taxi to get me and my bike 1 km to the gate? Yes, listen I don’t make the rules, I’m only following orders…

Thats what the NAZI’s said…. (I didn’t say that only in my thoughts)

But it’s a pretty stupid rule though you’d have to agree? Yeah the world has gone mad since 911

So I rang the agent. Listen, I said how do I get to the main gate here if I want to get out for a cycle? Oh the loading master will help you. He says I have to get a taxi….Do you want a taxi? I can get you one but it will cost you….No listen, I don’t want a taxi, I have a bicycle which I would like to take for a spin, but I can’t get to the main gate what will I do?….Oh, the loading master will hel…CLICK I put the phone down.

So it is OK for me to manouvre a 20,000 ton ship worth millions to the jetty, but not OK for me to cycle my bike 1km to the gate. I’m a security risk once the ship has stopped moving? The security rules are a complete farce these days, punishing the ordinary sailors for something they have nothing to do with, namely 911. It has been a windfall for the fence manufacturers and installers, it has been a goldmine for the security industry. There are tattooed skinhead fuckwits with no formal education everywhere with uniforms and radios controlling gates and checking ID’s, they haven’t a clue about what a ship is. This is security don’t make me laugh, I know who is laughing the real terrorists. Meanwhile in the container port, boxloads of guns, explosives,drugs and God knows what are being moved around and nobody has a clue, but for the love of Christ don’t allow that bicycle out.

I could understand if they wanted to increase security in the US, OK they got attacked it is understandable. But it’s everywhere, paranoia rules. Fortunately some ports have a better attitude to ship’s crews, and don’t treat us like criminals. One of the small pleasures of the job at sea is getting an hour or so ashore, to see something interesting in another land. But if you can’t get a bicycle off the ship because you are considered a security risk, well then it isn’t worth the hassle. Stay in your floating prison. It’s no wonder they can’t get anyone to do this job anymore, but soon the problem will go away. There will be no more Europeans or Americans working in these ports or on ships and no one to complain about the shit conditions people have to put up with.

Looks like rain today, I think I’ll stay onboard.

Pirates get caught

Published September 19, 2008 in Security, Pirates, Dodgy ships, Denmark, Shipping and On the ship. 0 Comments

Absalon by Hebster. Click on the photo to get to Hebsters Photo stream in Flickr

From the Scandinavian Shipping Gazette I read about the Danish frigate Absalon capturing boats and pirates in the Gulf of Aden. The Absalon’s helicopter spotted the boats and a navy seal detachment boarded and found equipment and weapons. Read the full story on Shipgaz.com.

The piracy in the gulf of Aden is on the almost out of control level. It used to be enough to keep away from the coast but now the pirates have powerful speedboats with long range and are equipped with sophisticated weapons and boarding equipment. Not bad coming from a country that has had no effective government since 1992. Where are all the weapons and gear coming from? Where does one shop for ship boarding equipment and sundry items, useful to the pirate trade? Unless there is some tacit official backing, which is understandable enough I suppose for a country with no industry or infrastructure, they need money too. This could be part of a toll system ? I also read that some shipping companies are employing private “security” firms when transiting these pirate infested areas. Someone pointed out that it might not be so good to have armed guards shooting at pirates who could retaliate with rocket propelled grenades, which tend to have a negative effect on ships like chemical tankers or oil product tankers, the resultant explosion produced by an RPG could destroy the whole ship, not really that great for the cargo, or the owners, or not least the poor unfortunate crew!

The Pacific Pintail has 3 x 30mm cannons onboard, but then again she is carrying plutonium waste, not the sort of shit you want pirates to be getting hold of. But this piracy lark seems to be a growth industry, ships are captured brought to the coast of Somalia and the owners pay ransoms, which they later deny and the pirates release the ships stripped usually and the crew mostly unharmed. How does that work I wonder, brokerage for ransom paying, how does one get into that line of business. Ex CIA with contacts with unscrupulous Swiss bankers trying to launder Nazi money? Who knows, I am just amazed that these pirates have turned piracy into an international business.

Back in my deep sea days we had no guns. On the LNG ships going up and down the Malacca straits and the South China Sea we just had a few fire hoses rigged over the sides and the anchor washers full on, not extremely effective but something to do, wet the pirates before they board you. If they were fired up and aggressive beforehand a good soaking will be sure to improve their mood. We used to joke about painting large dollar signs with direction arrows towards the old mans safe. Real thigh slapping stuff.

Now I’m the old man……

Back in the USSR

Published May 17, 2007 in Security, Shore leave, Language, Russia and On the ship. 10 Comments

The English language section of my shore pass from my “run up the road” in St. Petersburg yesterday. If you think that airport security is tough or has gotten tougher in the last few years, think again, the security in St. Petersburg was almost intolerably hard. To get out of the port installation there were two checkpoints, the first one had 5 guards they checked the ID papers, which had to match up with the paper which they had received from immigration. OK. Then there was a second control checkpoint with about 15 guards some armed, this was an immigration control who checked ID again and you then got the above shore pass. There was about 3 kilometers between each checkpoint, enough time for you to forge a new ID and escape unnoticed? nah, forget about it, unless you are an expert in Russian which is all anybody speaks. Russian is not only a foreign tongue, they have a completely different alphabet called “Cyrillic”, some letters may resemble the Latin alphabet but they mean something completely different here “B” means “V” and “C” means “S”, and then they have there own shapes too upside down v’s and back to front k’s and a few more thrown in for good measure.

All very straightforward? Enter Tim the sailor from Erin’s green shores, with my dark green Irish seaman’s discharge book, which may sound like something strange but it’s just a record or log book if you will of my time on various ships. On the front cover is a golden harp, and when you open it up it plays “When Irish eyes are smiling” ……OK it doesn’t play any music, but it’s fairly obviously Irish.

Checkpoint 1. Enter building 10:05 CET. Book taken by guard 1, everything seems to be in order but no, wait, hould on a feckin’ minute Patrick, one letter on my book does not correspond with the immigration papers. Guard 2 takes book, looks at me, looks at book, looks at photo in book (me from 1990, the book goes out of date when its full, a few pages left in mine) photo vaguely corresponds, and is in monochrome, stamp from immigration corresponds, same name, correct ship name only one flaw the serial number is one letter from perfection. I do believeÂ I have entered the twilight zone. Are they being serious or is this some kind of humour I don’t get? Guard 2 hands book to Guard 3 who I don’t see, he is making a phonecall to Moscow or to somewhere important. Time now 10:40. It’s looking like Tim will have to go back to the ship, but salvation in the form of the young surveyor who speaks English appears, he takes the book and paper and drives to the immigration people who happen to be on a ship nearby. At 11:05 book and paper arrive back, and Guard 1 checks the details again, the thought crosses my mind is he taking the piss or does he have a very short attention span, anyway 10 minutes later I get passed the first checkpoint.

Phew! Checkpoint 2 is easy enough, I don’t know if any communication has taken place between checkpoints 1 & 2 but all goes well and I receive my shore pass, part of which is seen above. The pass is from the old days of the CCCP and has been through many greasy fingers over the years, many sailors have had it in their possession for a short period of time and it has remained in use. There was a serial number on the pass so there is probably a record of all the sailors that have used this pass somewhere. Penalty for loss of pass 1 rouble, which doesn’t amount to much these days about $ 0.04 so I was very tempted to lose it just to see what would happen, but I did not fall for my fleeting temptation, as it was not known what the Russian bit said, and they probably would not appreciate my sense of humour. I got back through the checkpoints without hassle, although the formality was at the same level, nearlyÂ no recognition, although I got a grin from Guard 1 and he mentioned Irlandia as he checked me back through.

Further notes on my shore leave to come, keep tuned to this page!

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