The Lifeboat Drill
(a true story, only the names have been omitted to protect the innocent from embarrasment)
Murphy’s Law states that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong often known as Sod’s Law.
After 32 hours on the Parana River up to Rosario we anchored just after midnight. After 6 hours deep sleep the old man was awakened by the arrival of many members of the uniformed shore authorities looking for the arrival clearance inwards documents. He shuffled down to his office with the entourage who obviously had eaten raw garlic for breakfast mixed with tobacco. After 90 minutes of paper shuffling and application of the ships stamp on documents here and signatures there, the dark sunglass gang were happy, not because of the paperwork, a necessary evil but because of the quantity of Marlboro and Whiskey they had received, the grease on the axle of commerce. Then they informed the captain that the ship would not go alongside for 2 days.
It was then that the Chief Officer came up with the splendid idea of testing the port lifeboat as it had not been in the water for 2 months, and this was the perfect opportunity to do this. Instructions were given to lower the boat into the water, and NOT to release it but only run the motor for about 10 minutes to get it up to running temperature, and test the water spray, the reason being that the current in the river runs at about 3 to 4 knots, so launching wouldn’t be so clever. Everyone was prepared and briefed, life jackets on and the boat lowered to the waterline. It was now that the young Filipino cadet decided to show off what he had learned at his weekly lifeboat muster since joining the vessel, namely to release the painter, because that was his specific job upon launching the boat, and no better oppurtunity to show he knew his duties with the old man leaning against the ships rails on deck a few meters above. Said and done, before anyone had a chance to react to the actions of the Cadet, as he had done what he had learned let go the painter. This meant that the boat had the same speed as the river, 3-4 knots with a fairly confused crew and bewildered Chief mate, who couldn’t understand how they had a man onboard who did what he had learned in all cases without thinking of the consequences. After 2 minutes contact was made with the boat by VHF radio, where we were informed that the motor was running well but the clutch wasn’t engaging. The advantage of a functioning clutch is that you can transfer power to the propellor shaft and thereby get the boat to go ahead or astern. When the clutch isn’t working it doesn’t matter that the engine sounds good, the boat was all the while drifting with the current downstream without regard to the well sounding motor.
So what does the old man do in such a situation with 4 men disappearing downstream towards Montevideo? You’ve guessed it, a new crew to launch the Starboard lifeboat as a rescue boat, everything went well with lowering, but there was an AB that had learned from the incident with the port boat, had the cadet not let go the painter then none of this mess would have happened, better to let the painter line stay put, because an AB knows better than a Cadet of course. 2 of the crew nearly fall overboard because of the tight line but fortunately all of them are still onboard when they eventually do get underway down the river no thanks to the dimwitted AB.
The port boat by this stage had been met up by a local fishing boat trying to sell fish, not really the most appropriate occasion to discuss the price of fish with the Russian Chief Officer, who was only able to communicate in the International seafarers language, which the fisherman clearly understood as they disappeared quickly away. A report came from the bridge that the port boat was 1,2 miles away doing 4 knots, a really great piece of news at this stage. 1 ½ hours had gone since the beginning of the exercise and it was nearing 12 O’Clock, lunch time, the cook noticing that his lunch guests were missing wandered out onto the deck and noticed that 2 lifeboats were heading downstream, his only comment being that maybe they could bring a cow back from the shore as they were passing as the feeding rates were astronomical the past month, not really a great suggestion to the Chief mate at this stage.
By now the rescue boat had reached the port boat and the towing operation had begun, the bridge reported that both boats were now doing 1.5 knots upstream against the current but in the right direction towards the mother ship. When they were about 100 mteres away came the cheerful news that the Starboard boats engine was overheating and the revs were reducing automatically, so the boat was only doing 4 knots same as the river, so they were making no headway.
New idea send out a mooring line from the stern, they float on the water, 220 meters of one line was sent out, not enough, a new one was connected so 300 metres of line reached the port boat, not the rescue boat, the whole thing was getting complicated even for the old man who threatened that if anyone let go of the mooring rope they would be collected outside Montevideo in 3 days 300 miles downstream. After another hour all boats were secured. Both lifeboats now used in drill, next drill in 3 months time. Will revert with new information and details of that drill.















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