Archive for the 'VHF' Category

Suez Canal Transit circa 1993

hawaii.jpg

One of the few times I went through the Suez Canal was when I served as a cadet on the VLCC (Very large crude carrier) Esso Hawaii back in 1993, before digital cameras but I had my trusty Olympus Trip camera with me, loaded for some reason with XP2 black and white film perhaps I was attempting to be arty or something. Anyway I only recently scanned in a lot of the negatives from that time, it’s only 15 years ago but it seems like a lifetime. My collage shows the “bum boats” being hoisted up to deck level, one of the bridge wings and the funnel and name plate of the VLCC Esso Hawaii. She ended up in the recycling yard/strand a few years ago so all that is left is the memories and the stamp in my discharge book.
These boats in the picture were filled with “boat men” whose job was to cause as much hassle as is humanly possible to the crew of a ship, and to moor the ship in the case of emergency, completely pointless on a ballasted VLCC with a 15 metre freeboard and only a few metres to spare on either side of the canal at the narrow parts. Every door on the ship was padlocked or locked access only for the crew, this was long before ISPS, the threat wasn’t terrorism (although we were terrorized for Marlboro) it was theft, there was a special cabin called the “Suez Canal Cabin” designated for these boatmen, a simple room with 4 double bunkbeds and a communal toilet, known as the WOG locker by the less politically correct members of the crew. It was a depressing enough cabin when empty, it was disgusting when full of people and afterwards the cleanout had to be done with high pressure hose and full chemical suit, the toilet not being used in a manner normal to western standards, because they didn’t use the flush function. This may be hard to believe that people would want to wade around in their own squalor but it happened.
The old man at the time probably brought a lot of the problems we had that transit down upon himself by trying to enforce the company policy of “no gratuities”, now anybody who has been through the canal knows that the bureaucratic lubrication comes in the form of cartons of Marlboro cigarettes, everyone who is anyone requires these before any further conversation will be entered into. The Pilots all 8 of them require cigarettes, the “Doctor”, the “Electrician” and “Port Authorities” all demanded them. The Doctor climbed onboard and put a stamp on the health declaration, the Electrician switched on the Suez Canal search light, the Port Authority collected more paperwork and the agent was there somewhere too, plus all the boatmen and all the other boats that flocked around like scavengers waiting for Marlboro. But the old man stuck to his guns and refused to open the bonded store, no cigarettes he bellowed to one poor unfortunate, nearly knocking him over. Well it nearly started the 1993 Suez Crisis, they were going to stop the ship and there was going to be delays, and it was most irregular. Eventually the old man pacified the pilots saying that they would be looked after, they received a paper bag with fly spray, a couple of cans of coke and a few bars of chocolate. I thought that one of them was going to bust a blood vessel at this outrage, the other one rolled out the prayer mat and started fervently praying on the bridge deck. So we were unpiloted for a few minutes that seemed like a very long time with the one pilot glowering at the old man and the other one giving it plenty on the prayer mat, eventually the old man had to give in, was it worth letting a VLCC ground in the canal and cause an international incident, no. So the cigarettes arrived and it was all sweetness, and the helm orders started again. A few years later I saw the complete opposite where the old man sat with a 5000 case of Marlboro and dished out left right and center, and we had no problems, he explained that the British pilots in the canal in the old days started the carton of cigarettes lark, so the Egyptians were not going to break such a tradition.
Because we were such a large ship we required many pilots and there were 4 sets of pilots in total, one pair to bring us into the canal, one pair for the upper section to the Bitter Lakes, another pair to Suez and the another pair for the voyage out of the canal, talk about jobs for the boys. All received the paper bag and Marlboro included, the old man was very annoyed that he had to give in to the pilots so he was marching around like a bull with a headache, sweat stains under his arms and forehead clenched with rage, all cadets had to scatter to avoid the wrath, shit rolls downhill. He wasn’t happier when the 3rd mate suddenly asked one of the pilots if “that the airfield the one where the Israelis bombed the shit out of the Egyptian airforce?” More silence a near diplomatic incident and Marlboro dished out, and the 3rd mate had a black shin for weeks afterwards from the kick he got from the mate trying to shut him up.
More from the photo archive later.

Warships

Gloucester

HMS Gloucester

Iron Duke

HMS Iron Duke

Lancaster

HMS Lancaster

Three warships passed our position today heading for sea all spick and span after the bad weather, there was no radio traffic and the AIS was switched off so no ideas about where they were going or what the mission was. Their silent passage was impressive with all the crew on deck and the white caps gleaming in the winter sun. A few days earlier there was plenty of chatter from one warship and the VTS at Southampton, now the other day at Rotterdam I blogged about being able to speak English on the VHF, well who better to give us a great example of perfect Queens English than the boys and girls of the Royal Navy?
Well it was English, but it must have been the competition for the most clipped and shortest time on air or they have some kind of military practice for short messages so they don’t get targeted by radio direction finders or something. There are things that are confusing when hearing such military tone and military speak ” This is coalition warship calling the vessel on a course of 225 speed 15knots in position etc. etc.” Since when have the Royal Navy started calling themselves “coalition warships”, and what happens when they use the half second grunts and bleats that are meant to be words but sound more like noises from a haggard or stall with the non-English speakers like the French? Probably more of the same back to them……
But I was happy to hear the calm and collected voice of Solent Coastguard on the VHF sounding very clear and concise, even if it was a bad weather forecast for more gales, they sounded good anyway.

Patience of Job award

Job the biblical holder of the eternal patience award would have pulled his beard out and gone doo-lally if he ever had to do the job of VTS operator at Rotterdam. The VTS(Vessel traffic service) people organise the shipping traffic in and out of Rotterdam,one of the worlds busiest ports. There is a ship arriving every couple of minutes and most require a pilot, and all have to be directed to ensure the best possible flow of traffic. The Dutch are also very good at speaking English, it is their second language, even if they have a slight accent, it is perfectly understandable. Most of the operators have a clear calm voice, a bit arrogant at times, blasting away in Dutch to the people who know how to blast away at Dutch. Anyway why shouldn’t they it’s their port.
Now speaking English is of course a pre-requisite for maritime communications, if you can’t speak English it doesn’t reflect on your intelligence oh no, but you sound stupid on the VHF if you can’t speak it in a half decent manner, there is even a book with the correct phrases to use for non-English speakers, a lot of them don’t have it or don’t read it or don’t know how to read it as was apparent the other day when we were just about to anchor off port limits to wait for our berth to become free. The VTS was being hailed by a ship’s officer on the VHF, but it sounded like he was reading from a badly rehearsed script.

Characters; 1. VTS Maas Approach, 2. A ship we shall call Doolally of nation unknown and we will give him the call sign X-ray 2 Yankee India 4.

Doolally: “Maas Approach this is Xway tu rankee dindee faw”

VTS: What is your name?

Doolally: My ETA at 14hundra

VTS: OK X-ray 2 Yankee India 4 ETA 14hundred, what is your name?

Doolally: My dwaft 10 boint 8 meetaahs….

VTS: OK draft 10.8 metres what is your ships name?

Doolally: Pleeeze rephet massage?

VTS:What is your vessels name, please spell your name.

Doolally: sshhhhhhh, aaaaarggh doooooodaaaaah

VTS:OK you are breaking up please spell the ships name

Doolally: My call sign is…….

VTS: What is your name?

Doolally: (silence)……10 minutes goes by

VTS: X-ray 2 Yankee India 4 this is Maas approach do you read?

Doolally: (silence) no reply

VTS: X-ray 2 Yankee India 4 this is Maas approach do you read?

The conversation ended there, the ship stopped communicating, or decided to go somewhere else or God knows what. The VTS operator had other ships to deal with and that was the end of it.
Now I was talking about ships being piloted in by radio in a post not so long ago http://timstimes.net/2008/01/09/pilotage-from-shore/ all very well and good, you can have technology, you can have great radio equipment, but at the end of the day, if the guys on the ship no speaka da language, you won’t be able to do anything let alone pilot them from ashore.

Helicopters

We were leaving port the other day, or evening as the small video clips will show when we had a visit from a very loud and bright flying object, they started flashing searchlights across the deck and it was all very noisy. I went to the port bridge window and there was a big Helicopter of type unidentifiable about 10 metres from me the co-pilot had a number board with “69″ on it and he was gesticulating vigorously with a flashlight at the number, the penny finally dropped inside my head and I lifted the VHF tuned to channel 69 (nothing to do with any other purported uses of this cipher combination), as I tuned in an extremely efficient British voice crackled across the airwaves, “Coastguard helicopter Whiskey Delta, on exercise, permission to place a man on deck, OVER” I gave the OK “Whiskey Delta, permission granted” thinking to myself these are the boys that could make the difference on a dark and dirty night in the North Sea, so practice away lads.
My cameraman missed the first part of the operation we were all fairly awestruck at the proximity, noise and presence of such a big machine flying a few feet overhead. There are four small sequences showing the winchman exercise with a stretcher basket and finally fly off into the murk.

The last clip is a few seconds of the Dunkirk pilot making his entrance, there was too much wind for a launch so he had to arrive by chopper. I took a photo as they flew past the bridge and blogged previously under Flying Pilots

VHF humour

Another classic today on the VHF when the French VTS operator was getting information from a passing tanker. There is a serious amount of reporting on the French coast after all the tanker accidents and oil spills over the years.

You have to imagine a heavy French accent and a heavy East European accent replying

French VTS- What kind of vessel are you?

Tanker- We are oil tanker.

French VTS- What kind of ‘ull ‘ave you? (silent h in front of ave and ull)

Tanker- ‘ull ‘ave?

French VTS - yes ‘ull, what kind of ‘ull ave you?

Tanker- please repeat question, not understanding?

French VTS- You are a tanker, what of ‘ULL ave you, a single ‘ULL, a double ‘ULL ?

Tanker- no we have no HOLE in ship, everything OK, no HOLE

French VTS-(exasperated) you have no ‘ULL? You have single or double bottom?

Tanker( penny finally drops) ah we are double HULL vessel…….

Frsnch VTS (audible relief in voice) OK sir sank you, ‘ow many crew onboard?(silent h in front of ow)

Tanker(confused again) ‘OW?

and so on and so on, maybe we should all learn French…..

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